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Who's on First?

If you're old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, you will get this. If you're too young, ask someone who is more "mature" than you.

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Barry Fey Interview with Mike Rosen

11/10/2011 - Barry Fey talks about his autobiography, "Backstage Past." Fey died yesterday at the age of 73.

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Paraprosdokians

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Paraprosdokians

"He was at his best when the going was good." —Alistair Cooke on the Duke of Windsor

"If I am reading this graph correctly — I'd be very surprised." —Stephen Colbert

"You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing—after they have tried everything else." —Winston Churchill[8]

"On his feet he wore…blisters." —Aristotle

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." —Groucho Marx

"A modest man, who has much to be modest about." —supposedly Winston Churchill, about Clement Attlee

"I like going to the park and watching the children run around because they don't know I'm using blanks." —Emo Philips

"If I could just say a few words… I'd be a better public speaker." —Homer Simpson

"I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long." —Mitch Hedberg

"She was good as cooks go, and as cooks go she went." —Saki

"I sleep eight hours a day and at least ten at night." —Bill Hicks

"I don't belong to an organized political party. I'm a Democrat." —Will Rogers

"He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother"; variations on the phrase are attested as early as 1884.

"The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list" — Winston Churchill

"If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong." — Winston Churchill

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station


Jay Thomas on Letterman - The 'Lone Ranger' Story

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Change of Command - Hilarious!

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Liberals Losing Definition

Rocky Mountain News (CO) - Friday, September 17, 2004

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Author: Mike Rosen
In a recent letter to the editor, a proud, unabashed, self-avowed liberal sought to turn the tables on "right-wingers," as he labeled them, who would use the term "liberal" as a slur. He said he welcomed the label. Citing Dictionary.com as his definitive source, he instructed us ignorant right-wingers that a liberal is one who is broad-minded, not limited by traditional or authoritarian attitudes or dogmas, one who is free from bigotry, favoring new ideas for progress, tolerant of the ideas and behavior of others, etc. You get the idea. Well isn't that special? While library bookcases are overflowing with volumes on this subject, our liberal friend confines his search for truth to an entry of a few dozen self-serving words in an online dictionary that treats the term behaviorally, rather than as a political agenda. Dictionaries are wonderful tools, but they have their limitations. They're a starting point, not the oracle. Would he rely on Dictionary.com to explain the meaning of life? And I don't mean the meaning of "life." I mean the "meaning of life." Maybe he could also sum up the collected studies of philosophy, theology, mythology, metaphysics, history and science in a couple of sentences on that subject, too. Another convenient cliche is that liberals are progressive and conservatives are against change. Really? This generalization has severe and disqualifying limitations. How is it that conservatives are the ones that want to do away with the income tax, end the public school monopoly and privatize Social Security, while liberals staunchly defend the status quo in these areas? Once upon a time, the status quo was government oppression in the form of monarchy and serfdom. Eighteenth century revolutionary thinkers like Locke, Burke, Hume, Montesquieu and Adam Smith advocated a break from that tradition, asserting natural, God-given rights to individuals. In the form of political economy, this movement later became known as "classical liberalism" and is the foundation of modern-day conservatism. It ultimately took the form of self-determination, private enterprise, property rights, free trade, limited government, self-reliance, individual rights and responsibilities, and an aversion to high taxes. Over the years, the terminology has morphed, with big-government leftists - true to their confiscatory instincts - even expropriating the term "liberal," which has lost its intrinsic meaning and is now simply a label identifying those on the left. If the root of the word relates to individual freedom, it would hardly apply to the collective and coercive public policy agenda of liberalism, today imposing quotas, politically correct behavior, regulations and taxes. It's been said that a liberal doesn't care what you do, as long as it's mandatory. Modern-day liberalism is hopelessly utopian, as Leonard Peikoff put it, "A cry from one heart to another, bypassing any intermediary such as the brain." Moving beyond epithets and simplistic dictionary definitions, the practical differences between contemporary conservatives and liberals are best observed by contrasting their values, beliefs and positions on fundamental and enduring public policy questions. Here are a few samples: * Conservatives believe in individual freedom and responsibility. Liberals believe in sacrificing individual freedom for socially desirable outcomes. Liberals believe that one of government's primary roles is social engineering.
  • Conservatives believe in limited government. Liberals believe in intrusive government to achieve societal needs. (Exception: social-issues conservatives advocate government intrusion on matters like abortion, drugs and pornography.)
  • Conservatives believe in free markets. Liberals believe in government controls and central planning.
  • Conservatives believe that some problems have no solution, that they can, at best, be mitigated. Liberals believe that most every problem has a government solution.
  • Conservatives are concerned about the production of wealth. Liberals are obsessed with the redistribution of it and believe that people will work as hard for the benefit of strangers as they will for themselves and their families.
  • Conservatives believe in equality of opportunity. Liberals believe in equality of outcome.
  • Conservatives believe that human nature is what makes us imperfectible. Liberals believe that human nature can be changed and perfected.
  • Conservatives are nationalists. Liberals hope for world government.
  • Conservatives believe in peace through strength. Liberals believe in peace through cooperation, trust and goodwill.
P.S. - When liberals use the euphemism "progressive," they mean progress on the road to socialism.

Long Live the Differences

Mike Rosen column illustrating the differences between the left and the right.

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Click here for link to column


Dogs, Cats, and Trust

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The Great Flydini - Steve Martin

From The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson

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Dianna DeGette Demonstrates Profound Gun Ignorance

CO Dem Doesn't Understand High-Capacity Magazines Can Be Reloaded.

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The Norwegian Royal Guard Regiment performing on ice!

Those are US made Garand M-1 rifles (WWII), and they are heavy weapons(9 POUNDS EACH).

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Paper is Not Dead

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Fastest Gunman on the Planet

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GUNS (Virtual State of the Union 2013)

In this segment of his Virtual State of the Union, the Virtual President talks about why politicians want to talk about gun control rather than crime control, and delivers the factual evidence and historical truths that make the case for the Second Amendment self-evident.

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Volkswagen's Levitating Car

Volkswagen gathers ideas from the people of China to help innovate future cars. We took one girl's idea for a hover car. This video is a simulation

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