
Paraprosdokians
"He was at his best when the going was good." —Alistair Cooke on the Duke of Windsor
"If I am reading this graph correctly — I'd be very surprised." —Stephen Colbert
"You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing—after they have tried everything else." —Winston Churchill[8]
"On his feet he wore…blisters." —Aristotle
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." —Groucho Marx
"A modest man, who has much to be modest about." —supposedly Winston Churchill, about Clement Attlee
"I like going to the park and watching the children run around because they don't know I'm using blanks." —Emo Philips
"If I could just say a few words… I'd be a better public speaker." —Homer Simpson
"I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long." —Mitch Hedberg
"She was good as cooks go, and as cooks go she went." —Saki
"I sleep eight hours a day and at least ten at night." —Bill Hicks
"I don't belong to an organized political party. I'm a Democrat." —Will Rogers
"He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother"; variations on the phrase are attested as early as 1884.
"The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list" — Winston Churchill
"If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong." — Winston Churchill
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station